Elevator Logic: Mother Hanks' Hot Sauce
I live most of my life without the benefit of an elevator. In the 90s, when I worked on the thirty-second floor of the Columbia Seafirst Center in downtown Seattle, I became well-versed in elevator etiquette, riding up and down with ten or fifteen worker-types at least four times a day. As the majority of the herd was going up and coming down at the same time, few body bumps occurred.
Logic assumes that those waiting for an elevator will allow the herd to go first, thus emptying the space that elevates, leaving room for those who are waiting to enter and go up. Now corporate suits (both those wearing ties and those wearing scarves) understand this dance and do-si-do appropriately. People who are unaccustomed to buildings taller than one story haven't read the memo.
The breach in common sense often occurs in hotels frequented by tourists. Travelers dragging Winnebago-shaped suitcases, pulling wobbly luggage carts, and pushing strollers as big as an SUV barge into a full elevator causing confusion, forcing scuffles, and necessitating angry glares. The Holiday Inn Express Modesto has been the scene of many such elevator incidents.
There is not a lot to do in and around Modesto. Boomers, a major family attraction, is located directly across the street from our room and brings in a full house to the hotel every weekend. As far as I can tell, you can either circle over and over on the go-cart track or play miniature golf at the Barbie Doll-pink course, constantly directed by a loud, looping voice-over who recites dos', don'ts, and threats of expulsion ("Your entrance fee will not be refunded!").
September must also be the season for Little League tournaments, as every weekend brings in overactive tribes of ten to twelve year old boys eager to play ball, race a go-cart around the track, and wield those plastic, whacky things in the swimming pool. They roam the hotel in groups of three and four, snickering and jabbing each other as they go. I've lived through three weekends here and have been patient when each elevator trip results in chaotic co-mingling as the occupants simultaneously enter and exit.
Last Saturday on my final trip down (in a full elevator) for "Happy Hour" chips and salsa, the doors opened on the lobby to five eager, go-cart racing, ball-playing, whacker-yielding boys advancing into the already full elevator. With some indignity, I refused to yield and stood my ground, forcing the darlings to step aside and let me pass. I managed not to call them little hayseeds and swept on by. As I rounded the corner into the dining area, I could hear the boys burst into hoots. They were definitely laughing at me, not with me—Imagine!
I thought, now it begins—being laughed at for being too old. Oh well...I filled two Styrofoam bowls with salsa packs and tortilla chips, walked into the hallway, and waited for the elevator. The doors opened and I barged right in, spilling chips on a young woman who was trying to get out. Internally chastising myself, I mumbled a contrite apology, she just smiled and said, "No problem."
I need to lighten up.
If
you're wondering how our complimentary fine dining is going, we are in
the groove now. For lunch today I had Saltines mixed with salsa packets. Dinner
tonight was snagged this morning from the "breakfast bar": half a bagel, cream cheese, a
microwaved cheese omelet, and tomato slices. Last night, we shared Bob's
lunch-box chicken salad, courtesy of Sutter Health's cafeteria. Tomorrow...I can only imagine.
If I were home, I'd make my favorite salsa: Mrs. Hanks Hot Sauce (recipe below). We made this at Sound Food, so the recipe makes a huge amount.
Mother Hank’s Hot Sauce 4 # Roma tomatoes or 2 large cans diced-in juice tomatoes ½ red onion ½ Serrano ½ green pepper 2 stalks celery 1 bu cilantro (cut off just below the leaves) 1 small can tomato juice 1/2 t. cumin 3 shakes of. Tabasco 2 t. salt juice of three limes Fine dice or Quisinart onion & hold separately. You want the onions to be quite fine, but don’t want the onion juice to overpower the salsa. Grind remaining ingredients in Kitchen Aid food grinder. Stir in chopped onion. For hotness, you can also add canned chipotles in sauce (a must-have for every pantry).
Categories: Snacks, Vegetarian, Beverage, American, Appetizers, Mexican, Sound Food
Tags: Modesto Boomers elevator logic salsa hot sauce
Comments